This page is for weather/spotter/Skywarn humor. It is not meant to offend, just help us laugh at ourselves. We will accept original humor, humor forwarded from other sources (as long as proper credit is given) and funny stories of stuff that has happened to you or witnessed by you. Please, no offensive stuff (you're adults, you know what that means). Send contributions to swskywarn@swskywarn.org

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Remember: Don't try any of the following at home. The people noted herein are not professionals and should probably be locked away (unfortunately this describes most of us.)

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Here's a bit of trivia:

In the movie "Twister", the opening scene (in the year of 1969) of a young Jo Harding and her family trying to make it to their storm cellar has the father figure saying that the tornado "...looks like an F5!"

Here's the problem: The Fujita Scale wasn't created until 1971!

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Simple Guide to Weather

Severe thunderstorm warning: Meteorological term meaning that a severe thunderstorm is in the area.

How to determine whether a severe thunderstorm warning is in effect: Look at your car. If you have washed it in the past 24 hours, severe weather is on its way. If it is a new vehicle, expect hail.

What you should do in the event of a severe thunderstorm warning: Look at your computer. If it is running Linux or Mac OS, unplug it. If it is running Windows, check your homeowner's policy. Maybe God and Allstate will give you a free upgrade if you leave it plugged in.

Tornado watch: Meteorological term meaning that conditions are right for a funnel cloud to form. We have another term for this in the Midwest: Summer.

How to determine whether a tornado watch is in effect: Find your town on a map of Hwy 66. If your town is located anywhere between Springfield, IL, and San Jon, NM, get out a calendar. If the date is later than March 31 but earlier than October 1, a tornado watch is probably in effect for your area.

What you should do in the event of a tornado watch: Observe the people around you. If you see someone watching the weather report and looking nervous, say, "Boy, you ain't from around here, are you?" Offer to buy him a beer to ease his jittery nerves.

Tornado warning: Meteorological term meaning that a funnel cloud has been sighted.

How to determine whether a tornado warning is in effect: Go to the nearest trailer park. If you see some redneck standing next to a doublewide, holding a camcorder up to his face and waving a can of PBR (Brand of Beer) in the general direction of the sky, a tornado warning is probably in effect for your area. (Note: This method only works during the day. At night, this sort of behavior just means Bubba's been watchin' the X-Files again.)

What you should do in the event of a tornado warning: Get the heck out of the trailer park. Go home and stand in your own front yard, staring at the sky and drinking beer with your neighbors. If the sky suddenly turns green or black, move the party into the basement.

Tornado siren: Emergency warning device designed to go off at 10 a.m. the first Tuesday of every month, or approximately 45 minutes after the end of a given storm.

What you should do if you hear a tornado siren: Come on out of the basement. Around here, by the time they get the sirens working, the storm is long gone.

From USA Skywarn via the WX7PHX email reflector

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A New Tornado Rating Scale

Found on the Internet at several places

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